Apple Jokes

Looking for apple jokes that actually land? You’ve found the orchard. These are crisp, quick, and easy to drop into group chats, family dinners, or that one awkward Slack thread where everyone is pretending to work.

From corny puns to snackable one-liners, this basket has something for everyone. Bonus: apples are healthy, but these are 100% junk food for your brain.

Scroll, laugh, copy-paste — and if apples aren’t your vibe, you can always grab some banana jokes or pickle puns.

Funny Apple Jokes 🍎🤣

Why did the apple go to school?
Because it wanted to branch out. (Meanwhile the orange skipped class to join basketball practice.)

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple 🦀🍏—still less crabby than your WiFi on a Monday.

How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it down a hill. Bonus points if you yell “gravity!” like you’re in a science joke thread.

Why did the apple stop rolling?
It ran out of juice. Happens to the best of us by 3 p.m. 🧃

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field 🌾. Same field where Yoyo the French Bulldog tried to eat an apple core.

What did one apple say at the party?
“You’ve got real core values.” (Corny, but less awkward than a dad joke.)

Why did the apple go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well. 🍏😷

How do you fix a broken apple?
With apple-cations. (Definitely not with the Genius Bar.)

Why did the apple go to the dentist?
To get to the root of the problem. 🦷

🍏 These work as icebreakers, text drops, or something to yell when you pass the produce aisle.

Cheesy Apple Jokes 🧀🍎

Apple Puns 🍏🤪

I tried to make a joke about apples.
Fruitless endeavor. 🤷‍♂️

I asked the apple if it wanted to dance.
It said it already knew salsa. (Somewhere, taco jokes are jealous.)

Why did the apple break up with the orange?
It couldn’t peel the connection anymore.

Did you hear about the apple that went on a diet?
It finally found its core values 🏋️.

Why did the apple go on a date with the banana?
Couldn’t resist the a-peel. (Yes, that’s also a dating joke.)

How do apples get rid of stress?
They just take a bite out of it. 🍏💪

What did the apple say to the orange during their fight?
“You’re really getting under my skin.”

Why did the apple get an A+ in school?
Because it’s always the teacher’s pet. ✏️ (Teachers secretly prefer dad jokes.)

How do you make a pie with only one apple?
You make it apple-solutely delicious.

Why did the apple join the circus?
It wanted to be the apple of everyone’s eye. 🎪

🍏 These puns are lightweight, screenshot-friendly, and 10x healthier than doomscrolling.

Apple Knock-Knock Jokes 🚪🍎

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple-solutely no idea why I’m here.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Granny.
Granny who?
Granny Smith — and I’m feeling tart.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Corey.
Corey who?
Corey Hale, the apple of my eye.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeycrisp.
Honeycrisp who?
Honeycrisp your fingers — it’s pie time. 🥧

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Johnny.
Johnny who?
Johnny Appleseed, planting laughs since forever.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gala.
Gala who?
Gala lot of apples in this basket!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candy.
Candy who?
Candy apple you just can’t resist? 🍬

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Macintosh.
Macintosh who?
Macintosh running out of apple jokes. (Send help — or computer jokes.)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cider.
Cider who?
Cider later, I’m out of here, alligator!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orchard.
Orchard who?
Orchard you glad I brought jokes?

🚪 Perfect ammo for kids, family dinners, or anyone who secretly loves knock-knock jokes.

Apple One-Liners 💬🍎

An apple a day keeps anyone away… if you throw it hard enough.

Why did the apple go to the gym?
For more core strength. 🏋️

I’m not an apple, but I still get stuck in a jam sometimes.

“You’re the apple to my pie” → okay but also the butter to my bread joke.

What’s an apple’s favorite exercise?
Core workouts.

Life without apples? Un-peeling.

What kind of apple brags too much?
A show-off in a fruit pun salad.

Not just any apple — the apple-action of perfection.

🍎 Quick laughs, snackable lines, and easy copy-paste comebacks for any chat.

Apple Riddles ❓🍏

I can be green or red, and I’m always sweet. What am I?
An apple. 🍏🍎

I’m round, red, and often found in pies. What am I?
An apple. 🥧🍎 (Also found hiding under whipped cream.)

I’m crisp and juicy, perfect for a snack. What am I?
An apple. 🍏 (Snack efficiency = elite.)

I’m a fruit that falls from a tree. What am I?
An apple. 🌳🍎 (Dramatic every autumn like a fall joke.)

I can be Granny Smith or Honeycrisp. What am I?
An apple. 🍏 (The range is giving Oscar-worthy.)

I have a core, and I’m often eaten on the go. What am I?
An apple. 🍏🏃‍♀️ (The original grab-and-go snack.)

I’m known for my cider and pie. What am I?
An apple. 🍎🍺

I’m often used in desserts and salads. What am I?
An apple. 🥗🍏 (Also used in suspicious Pinterest recipes.)

I’m a popular fruit that grows on trees. What am I?
An apple. 🍏🍎 (Literal influencer of the produce aisle.)

I’m red on the outside and white on the inside. What am I?
An apple. 🍎🤍

🧠 Use these riddles at family dinners, classroom games, or just to prove you’re smarter than a Granny Smith.

Apple Dad Jokes 👨‍👧‍👦🍏

Did you hear about the apple that went on a date?
It knew how to make a core impression.

What did the apple say to the orange at the party?
“You’re really peel-ing it.” 🍊

Why did the apple go to the dentist?
It needed a filling. (Cavity squad unite.)

How did the apple feel after its workout?
Core-tastic. 💪

Why did the apple go to the football game?
To root for the pineapple. 🏈 (Fruit solidarity.)

What did one apple say to the other in the kitchen drawer?
“We make a great pear.” (Cue pear jokes jealousy.)

Why did the apple break up with the banana?
It fell for a pear.

What’s an apple’s favorite kind of music?
Orchard-estra. 🎶 (Highbrow fruit energy.)

Why did the apple go to the doctor?
It wasn’t feeling a-peel-ing.

How do you catch a squirrel with an apple tree?
Climb up and act like a nut. 🐿️ (Works best if you’ve already read our squirrel jokes.)

👨‍👧‍👦 These dad jokes = guaranteed groans, but still safer than trying one at a staff meeting.

Apple Pick-up Lines 😉🍎

Are you an apple?
Because you’re a-peel-ing. 🍎😍

Is your name Gala?
Because you’re the apple of my eye.

Are you made of apple?
Because I find you delicious.

Can I take you out for apple cider?
Because you’re cider-iffic. 🍺🍎

Do you believe in love at first bite?
Because I just found it. crunch

Are you a Honeycrisp?
Because you’re sweet and crisp.

Can I plant a kiss on your apple-red lips?
Risky move… but worth it.

Are you an apple farmer?
Because you planted a seed in my heart. 🌱❤️

Do you want to go apple picking?
Because I’d pick you every time. (Cornier than a corn joke.)

Are you an apple pie?
Because you’re warm, sweet, and straight from heaven. 🥧

😉 Use these with caution: cheesy enough to make someone laugh, just smooth enough to maybe land a date.

Apple Jokes for Kids 👦👧🍏

Why did the apple go to school?
Because it wanted to be a smart fruit. 📚

What did the apple say to the orange?
“You’re peel-ing funny.” 🍊🍏

How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it down a hill. (Do not try this at home, kids.)

Why did the apple turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing. 🥗

What’s an apple’s favorite sport?
Fruitball. ⚽

How do you make an apple giggle?
Tickle its core. 🍏😂

Why did the apple go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.

What do you call an apple that’s a bad driver?
A road apple. 🚗

Why did the apple stop rolling down the hill?
It ran out of juice. 🧃

What do you call an apple that’s afraid to go outside?
A chicken apple. 🐔🍏

👦👧 These jokes are classroom-safe, playground-approved, and silly enough to rival our kids jokes collection.

Conclusion

That’s the bushel. Whether you’re into one-liners, puns, knock-knock riffs, or cheesy pick-up lines, these apple jokes hit every flavor. Perfect for texts, classrooms, or your next awkward family dinner.

And hey — apples aren’t the only fruit in the joke basket. If you want more laughs, grab some banana jokes, pear puns for fall vibes.

Because honestly? Laughter is the apple sauce of life — messy, sweet, and better when you share it. 🍎😊